Lifestyle Archives - 10th and Carter

Are You Afraid of The Wait??

10amgadmin — Wed, 10 Aug 2022 23:03:25 +0000

Photographer: Cottonbro

Are you afraid of the wait…

THERE'S BEEN THIS RUSHING UNDERCURRENT OF...NOW.

I need to…NOW.
I need to have this…NOW.
I should have made it by… NOW.

The real question is… Says who??

I learned this story after the fact but I remember Rob had the opportunity to go away and play basketball in college.

He did his thing in High-School…shout out to Manhattan Center…it made sense for him to go away and pursue his dreams.

But he chose to stay local so he could be there to help out my mother with my sister and I.

Who knows where those doors could have led him.

And I never felt any resentment from Rob even though he put his dreams on hold.

In fact…

...what could be perceived as on hold or waiting was actually his growth path.

While at Hunter College, he interned at Madison Square Garden and later rose to become a Vice President. They even created a mentorship program in his honor where they go into inner city schools and teach young kids the pathways to becoming successful.

Sometimes the desire to feel like what should happen now is only an indication to let you know that there’s more in store.

Learn to appreciate the wait.

Song For The 10th

All That I Got Is You, Ghostface Killah– Each of us have challenges of our past and for most of us…still here in our present; but we can’t allow chapters to dictate our entire story. It’s still being written…still being revealed.

Understand, accept, and appreciate the glory of time.

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I Choose Me

10amgadmin — Sun, 10 Jul 2022 02:35:25 +0000

Original photographer unknown

There’s a lot going on in the world right now, here’s my take…

GRATEFULNESS PROVES PERFECTION DOESN'T EXIST

What if one of our major life goals is to master the art of gratefulness?

Which in turn eradicates the dry desire for perfection…

…removing the decaying desires from our minds and hearts…

…liquifying new wineskins with purpose.

What If...

What if the destination is to be grateful for where we’re at with what we have?

What if that’s the literal practice of this game?

Because…

GRATEFULNESS PROVES PERFECTION DOESN'T EXIST

In a perfect world, Rob, as with many of our loved ones would still be physically present with us.

It’s only when I consider how grateful I am for the time that we did share, that it feels ok for things not to be perfect.

It’s weird because the results of being grateful are…automatic, beyond my control, and consistent.

And if…

GRATEFULNESS PROVES PERFECTION DOESN'T EXIST

…then I need to consider how often am I pushing for my own version of perfection in my life.

Which will then reveal to me how much more grateful I need to be for what I already have in my life.

A moment in a moment…that is all it takes to exercise gratefulness.

Thank you my great brother Rob for having such a presence in my life, that oftentimes, things did seem perfect.

It literally taught me a greater understanding of the power and need for gratefulness.

Song For The 10th

Mirror, Kendrick Lamar – In choosing me, I surrender to a higher me. I surrender to the God in me, which the path of gratefulness allows me to swim in…every time. I am grateful for the imperfect mirror.

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Black Man, Bald Head

10amgadmin — Sat, 10 Jul 2021 17:07:00 +0000

Photo by Cottonbro

I had to learn how to teach myself
to accept myself when I told myself that I couldn't accept the trauma...because I had work in the morning.

-Taurean Casey

One night Rob came home and told this story…

It was during the week around 10:00 at night and Rob was walking home from the 3rd Ave, 149th Street train station in the Bronx. Rob had been working at Madison Square Garden for a few years at this point and working late was the norm.

He said he was passing the Oxford medical center…it was fairly new at the time. This was right across the street from the fish market where we could smell that fish from a block away, but it was still our go-to for whiting.

As Rob was passing the medical center, about 3 or 4 cop cars pulled up on him. The cops hopped out with their guns drawn screaming – get on the wall and hands where I could see them…also known to many…as the usual.

They began their aggressive search for weapons, drugs, or whatever else that would justify their stop. An ID check came back warrant-free…no guns or drugs were found and they eventually allowed Rob to go home.

They said they were looking for an armed robbery suspect with a description of a black man with a bald head. Rob replied, well yall gonna be stopping a lot of people tonight.

Rob told that story when he got home.

I had my interactions with cops, but it was nothing like that. I never had a gun pointed at me. Rob had multiple guns pointed at him and he was just walking home from work. He wore a suit every day, but even that didn’t stop the multiple cars, guns, aggressive search…all of this was traumatic to me.

I was scared, but it was odd, because Rob told the story like it was normal.

After telling the story he ate dinner, went to sleep, got up and went back to work in the morning.

Song For The 10th

Little Ghetto Boy, Donny Hathaway – I imagine this song playing as Rob completed his walk home. All of the challenges you overcome coming from where we come from only to have someone view you as just another Black man with a bald head…a little ghetto boy. My brother wasn’t no little ghetto boy…he was more than that…our brothers, old and young…are so much more than that.

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Hear Me Out…

10amgadmin — Thu, 10 Jun 2021 16:53:00 +0000

Photo by Kenza Loussouarn

Someone interesting once said…

"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."

I was born in Mott Haven projects, which is across the street from Patterson projects, which is down the block from Mitchel projects, and if you walk in the opposite direction you would run into Maria Lopez and Christopher Court. Those ain’t projects but they’re across the street from Melrose projects, which is across the street from Jackson projects…and so on and so on…across the Bronx, across New York City, across the state, across America.

Each of us born geniuses...in the projects, now survive.

And then don't just survive...be successful.

Go on and break them generational curses.

Go on and climb that tree…Fish.

I’ve had my fair share of judging myself with a resulting definition of stupid. And we can all replace stupid with any of the common folk….lost, broken, confused, alone, scared…wrong, inadequate, not good enough, imposter.

I can’t even explain how grateful I am for getting to grow up with Rob…watching a fish climb a tree.

The first word that comes to mind is…example.

Sometimes that’s all anyone ever really needs…an example.

How many young brothers out here you know that could use an example?

Sometimes it’s biological like Rob and myself, but oftentimes, blood relation isn’t required.

There are so many young brothers out here thinking that they need to climb a tree, when all they need is an example.

Hear me out…

“If we were in front of each other right now, with all of the madness of the world circling around us, and the only thing between us was a tree, what would you do…what would you do?”

Song For The 10th

Marvin Gaye – What’s Happening Brother – Maybe the goal is to be able to answer this question one day and then all will be good. Until then, we keep on.

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Coaches (Pat, Phil, & Chuck)

10amgadmin — Sat, 10 Apr 2021 17:49:00 +0000

Photo by Logan Manuel

I remember in High-School I had a friend who used to rap. I thought he was super dope and had potential. I remember him rapping this crazy freestyle to me in the locker room during gym class one day. I was so blown away by my boy spitting that hot fire; I still remember my favorite line from the freestyle over 15 years later.

At the time my older brother Rob was starting a record label plus he had major ties to the music industry, so clearly I started thinking that I could be the next Puffy.

Later that day after my boy spit that hot fire to me in the locker room, I waited for my brother to get home so I could tell him all about it.

My plan was to spit a few of the lines from the freestyle and watch my brother go crazy in excitement…that was my plan.

So Rob comes home and I immediately start telling him about my boy. I spit a few of the lines…stop…and wait for my brother’s crazy response…it never came.

I figured he didn’t understand some of the hot fire that my boy was spitting, so I broke a few bars down for him, stepped back, and waited for the crazy response…it never came.

In fact, Rob’s response to my lyrical breakdown was literally…so what.

Are you coaching...being coached...or just playing??

I was bewildered, watching Rob walk away unfazed by my boy’s lyrical hot fire.

I felt like I just got laughed out of a record exec’s office and didn’t understand why. My boy was spitting that hot fire and I couldn’t understand why Rob didn’t see that.

Rob must have seen the confusing look on my face because he came back and offered some food for thought.

He said tell me some more about this guy. I gave him a basic description, but in the back of my mind, I’m thinking what did any of this have to do with the hot fire that my boy was spitting?

In just a few words, Rob gave me a whole new lens to see the world through…

Anybody can do something that’s hot, what makes this special?

Immediately, a light bulb went off in my head and it changed my thinking forever. Prior to that exchange, I was definitely chasing what was hot. It was easy, convenient, and what everybody else was doing.

Throughout the years, I’ve avoided so many pitfalls not chasing what was hot and I’m forever grateful to my big brother who took the time out to school me.

Some of us may not have biological little brothers running up to us with their version of hot fire, but there are so many open vacancies for coaches in the lives of our young brothers. And keeping it very real, some of us could benefit from some coaching right now too.

As we move further into this month, keep an eye out for where you could be a good coach to a young or older brother. We need it!

Everybody can’t be Mike…
only a few of us will ever get to be Phil…
but you always get to be you.

Song For The 10th

Concorde, Gregory Porter – I first heard this song while doing my routine digital “thumbin through records”, where I search through random playlists to uncover a new tune. The song sounds like it could have been made years ago, but it was actually made in 2020. I listened to this song A LOT, but one day, the song just resonated with me and made me think of Rob. And now I can’t listen to the song without thinking about Rob, nor can I just listen to it one time, nor can I listen to it without shedding a tear. I really appreciate this song.

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